So, recently I've been going through this phase where I return back to old work based on something that inspired me in a moment of vulnerability. ...see a title that read magical adventure and discovery in the Stop and Grab and I return back to that fantasy project I began drafting one day as I procrastinated on project one. ...watched a Womanstime tear jerker and I decide(temporarily) to complete the relationship filled masterpiece I've been working on 'in my mind' since I first tasted the sweet juices of youthful love. My personal favorite, after self diagnosing an annoying relative with a borderline mental illness I ran to the computer to recover a few lines I wrote for my 1st (oh la la) biting psychological crime thriller. I mean seriously can this stop already? I think like the annoying relative I am becoming obsessed with the idea of writing this super-great-work-that-will-go-mainstream-best-seller-super-wonderful-during-the-first submission story to the point where I am willing to flip flop around to get it. Hey a girl can dream can't she? But...it's really becoming beyond distracting. What about the love of writing? What about enjoying the build? Then doubt settles in. "Im in this for all the wrong reasons." Chastising, my inner voice reminds me such self-serving motives will surely backfire. Then I give up the idea on my way home. I return to my first project insisting I will stay there. I picked it a few months ago after serious consideration. It's where I belong. All other ideas will be pushed to the back burner. When I am done with this project, then I may return to others once again forevermore. Boy my writing habits are that of a womanizing fool. lol Anyhow, with all this mental activity I wonder; could ideas truly be the downfall of consistent writing? I think not! They are the impetus to spectacular work. But spazziness...that stops the movement of a potentially good project. Enough analyzing. I just need to get on it an stay on it. MISSION WRITE YOUR FIRST PROJECT COMMENCES NOW! A story of 1,000 glories starts one page at a time...~Misty Miles
It's been a while since I've updated here. I guess I haven't been particularly inspired.
A few updates
-I got a new charger
(but as fate would allow my laptop battery died)
so
-I got a new laptop battery
(only to find the new charger was totally burned out)
so
(hubby sent out for a replacement chord, only prolonging my wait for things to be normal again)
finally
-I got the new charger
NOW I AM FINALLY BACK IN BUSINESS
(EDIT--- you wont believe this because I don't I JUST BROKE THE CHARGER AGAIN. No joke. WHY is this happening!!!!??? It fell like it did the first time with the cat. ??????????????????????!!!)
B) I have yet to draft out a writing schedule.
Why would I without the materials and other such excuses...
C) I still STILLstilililllstill have not buckled down by committing to a project. Actually it seemed I had, BUT it was all in my mind. For a month I stuck to the idea that I was working on that project exclusively but I still couldn't find a plot to compliment my character's situation. Perhaps this project is a mere distraction. I will put that distraction down until the project crystallizes.
D) I almost started a blog again. Are you surprised? I am! I actually THOUGHT I agreed it was a no go for very valid reasons. Speaking of which, thank God, REASON saved me---this time!
E) I am also NOT back to work. Just a day or two ago I was fantasizing about doing that third thing I can do again, simply because I was working with an outstanding unpaid client contract that aroused those dreams once more.
Sigh...
The career stuff has been the pits. I mean I am starting to think that my motives are not justifiable. At this point or for at least that last few months, I have been obsessed with embarking upon the all saving occupation. The way I saw it this career would have to save me professionally, ocially too and it most had to save me financially. So naturally I am attracted to that third thing because it's the sexiest in my view. The first thing is virtually effortless with very little draw back. It just takes a little ego dismissing as well as uping my expected failure ratio along the way that is all.
The second thing is writing. It has the possibility of producing the most disappointment. Completing projects does not necessarily guarantee publishing. Likewise publishing does not equate to success, not financial success anyhow. It is a tough field full of competition and discouragement. It seems so unrealistic to even pursue what may be a waste of time. I would literally be starting from the chalky white line. Unlike one which I have education to back me and the third which is a talent I have perfected through pro bono experience for the last 10 years or so--- this is very new to me. I think I may be below novice status, here. At times it seems confusing. I do not know where to start. I do not have any contacts. There are so many people with different advice about how to get jump started. Honestly, it is frightening. I wonder if I am pressing so hard to do it to prove something or if it is truly my raw ability that will distinguish me in a miraculous way.
But you see it has occurred to me it all does not matter, because I am waiting for some magic genie to grant me the perfect career. Life is about choice. Some of us get stuck in the fantasy of being something great that we become nothing at all.(*this asterisk means something). I think that is the problem. I am waiting to hop on the back car of any train that I think is heading for fameville only to find that there are many unglamorous pit stops along the way. I question if success is what I really want. Is it money then? I do not know. However something I am sure of: I must make a choice. Time is winding down for everything. If am to qualify for something I have got to choose it and stick to it no matter what the consequence. I have to have loyalty and faith to a career and to a project for that matter.
This is the challenge however. I will have to beliee vthat the decision I make albeit writing, going back to my original love or that third thing. I have to trust that I have what it takes inside of me to select the strong path. Then I have to glue my mind to it forever. I see how past “failures” have stripped me of my hope, but I can let them stop me.
If I choose to be a writer then a writer I will be. For better for worse I have to do something.
Let’s hope it will be writing.
A story of 1,000 glories starts one page at a time...
~Misty Miles
created on 9/3/10. I was unable to publish it on that day due to time expiring on the computer.
I have been going back and forth about whether I should start a blog. Valid vacilliation theme don't ya think?
Well I thought so myself. Here's why:
(1) It seems that everyone else has cashed in on the idea. There's a massive amount of exciting blogs out there with exeplary messages and huge fan bases.
(2) I've read that almost all "unheard of", "inexperienced", aspiring authors<dat all be me>---at least have successful blogs. How else would agents have examples of their writing to draw from?
(3) Writing and maintaing a blog takes much work that helps build writing skills. While doing so the author is able to prune marketability as he or she discovers what appeal to others. It can also help one nest their intial yet burgeoning fan base---before publishing. That's half the battle getting those fans and getting them hard!
But you know what? So what. That's what!
I mean, really, I considered doing a book review blog. Then I realized it would be difficult to read the books, review them, post the reviews and gain an audience all the while working on my original project.
Then there were two facinating ideas for commentary blogs (not to be confused with this online journalesque format of my experiences to the road of being discovered), yet that posed to be extremely time consuming and way too distracting for a person who has ideas pop in her head once every 9 seconds.
I concluded everyone's got a blog who has time for one that's why they've actually got one. See how that came full circle, made sense and therefore excluded me from the running for the next top hit blogster?
Yeahh... me too.
History has shown that I can't keep up with one. I'm surprised I am here somewhat consistently. Perhaps I will let it be a fleeting idea ,yet another one of those distractions I have once I start research, character drafting and/or plotting my story lines. The distractions come so easy. The blog will not. Ima let this idea go for now and perhap forever. (I know eventually I will have to get a website to promote my books---perhaps that will have an update blog section, but nothing formal)
In other news, a lot of shish k's has\ve been going on in my life right now. I have allowed it all to slow down my writing process. I blame no one but my big fat brainy self. Let's take inventory. Today is Friday and I can say that I sat at the computer ONCE (this entire work week) to delve into my current project. (side bar I finally picked one I was going to focus on first. I set a deadline and everything. YEEHAW!)
Also, we had a few mishaps within the last week. The electricity was turned off for about two days. *Electric Company* made a mistake that they refused to own up to. So I was out of a working computer for that time frame. Then this week I woke up to hubby stating that the internet was cut off. This time was truly our fault. We won't have it on again until next week( I'm at the library right now. Can you SEE my dedication? Can you feel the love in my burning HEART? The love for my craft?) Anyhow that = major bummer. No reason to stop writing, but definately a distraction, since I am in my research phase of my project AND I am looking for a full time job to help fund this passionate journey. Sigh. I find myself sighing a lot these days.
Then there is an outstanding problem that has caused me to be home in the first place- my health. Despite my attempts to become stronger as I heal it seems that the reverse may actually be occurring. I have to see the doctor's next week, but<---this leads to another stressor which adds to this overall distraction---> I currently don't have insurance. How irresponsible, right? Well it's just a casualty in this recent war on my life. But I shouldn't be without for too long. I just played this hand wrong. I rejected COBRA and was unable to get on my husband insurance as planned. Booooo!
Speaking of which, it has been hard for hubby and I to be home during the day together. We live in a tiny apartment. We both work from computers which are located in the only "true" rooms we have in the place. It's so distracting because I like peace and quiet to work. He, for some reason likes the clanging sounds of the air condition, television, radio and any other noise he can turn up for inspiration ALLLLL at the same time. Calamity. That is the word that describes his working style affects on my daily schedule. Huge barriers. Not as crippling as my health(which sometimes has me down days at a time) but definitely--- H.U.G.E in the distractions department..
Lasty, there is reading. Reading seems harmless doesn't it? After all, the pros advise one to keep reading to improve one's writing. However, keeping up with what I am reading poses as a challenge to me because typically I am reading two or three books at a time. This does not including my inspirational books or scriptures. ...And I am usually writing about two or three projects at a time (projects that for some reason never get completed.) Surprise! Surprise! Surprise... cue in declining womp sound here.
So yeah I have to get my ish together first by avoiding distractions such as starting a blog and every little thing that takes my mind to a different task. Perhaps I share this problem with many other writers. I once read a pro proclaim in more words than less-- I can't even have a window in my room. There must be nothing around to distract.
But what happens when the distraction is simply yourself? *wink*
A story of 1,000 glories starts one page at a time...
~Misty Miles
